As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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