he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
