it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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