Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
