the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize