Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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