This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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