We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
