Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
