I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
My dad just said "fuck circus"
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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