DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
