is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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