Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
