I wannas sexs uuuuu
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
