No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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