Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
