You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
