Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
