i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
