About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
