The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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