can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
