i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
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