dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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