But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
