there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
