At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
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