I'm lost and stupid without you.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
