I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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