Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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