Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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