If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
