i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
