I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Mom said you looked used
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
