And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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