Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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