He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Are my feet made of real feet?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
