Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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