um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
