Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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