I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
