So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Randomize
