you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
