I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
