Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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