is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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