My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize