Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
