There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
