We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
