she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
cat food counts as protein by the way
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
