Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
