Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
You are the jesus of drinking
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
