Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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