this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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