I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
