Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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