what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
