She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
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